The Day 18 topic in One Zentangle a Day was curvilinear geometric patterns, featuring Gneiss, Cadent, and Huggins as the daily tangles. For Day 19, the topic is geometric rectilinear patterns, and features Rain, Cubine, and Beeline. The latter two are patterns that adorn many of my class notes throughout junior high and high school, as I doodled my way through lectures. My notes always looked cluttered. Today’s tile reminds me of those notes from more than half a century ago.
Last night, I sketched a rough draft of this tangle. It seemed to work OK, but looked cluttered and confused, as I had too many curvy patterns drawn. In the final draft, I thought taking out some of the work from the center would free up the tangle and make it a bit neater. Instead, I feel like I have more clutter surrounding a central void. Maybe if I add a watercolor wash… But I have already overworked this piece and don’t want to add even more confusion.
To most people, rectilinear patterns feel very orderly, as though one is in control. To me, using such patterns give me a feeling of sterility or of an environment that is overly controlled. I wanted the piece to be softened with a few curvilinear patterns, but I think I got carried away.
Today, I feel as cluttered and confused as this tangle. There is a tension between what I want to do and what I can actually accomplish. That this tension and confusion shows up in the drawing is interesting to me even though the persistence of clutter from yesterday to today is not surprising. I can understand why art therapy had become a big thing among clinical psychologists, especially in institutional settings. It is highly likely that patients’ states of mind are revealed in their artwork, just the way it seems for me. As I study my own tile and find the glaring areas of white, I wonder if there are holes or voids in my life that I have either suppressed or ignored. Might those be adding to my sense of confusion?
Is my perspective on life so different today than yesterday? In the previous tile, there was also a lot of white space; but it felt natural, like it belonged. Today’s blank areas appear to be chunks out of the whole–like I meant to fill in the area but forgot or obliterated the space. And the shading… Hmm. Should I think about this–overwork it as I have overworked the curved patterns–or should I just move on, aware of unresolved and unknown issues, but setting them aside until they decide to reveal themselves?
Maybe it is time to meditate on how to proceed. After all, meditation is part of the Zentangle philosophy. Maybe I should let it happen. Maybe meditation will help me make more sense of the clutter in my mind.